


Of Patience and Hope

by next12exits



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26853796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/next12exits/pseuds/next12exits
Summary: Mr Gold gets a visit from Lacey/Belle in his shop after he fails to meet her one night for drinks. He toys with whether or not to restore her memory ... Eventually, he caves in.Mr Gold angst. Rumbelle Kiss. <3
Relationships: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold
Kudos: 28





	Of Patience and Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/696961) by E.E Cummings. 



> An un-beta'd one-shot piece written at 3am this morning.  
> Set after Season 2, Episode 11 when Belle gets pushed over the town line and loses her memories.  
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters. This is purely a work of fiction - Rumbelle fluff, if you will.  
> Enjoy!

Mr. Gold stood at the edge of the Storybrooke town line, staring off into the distance. His hands were folded gently, resting on the top of his cane, and rain fell upon his shoulders. The sky was a perfect shade of gun metal grey; mirroring his mood completely. It had been months since Belle was pushed over the town line, losing all her memories of herself and of her history with him. She went by Lacey now. Although her eyes still shimmered when she saw him, and people still gravitated towards her and adored her, she was a mere fraction of the person she used to be. Watching her toss back shots at the bar and pushing him aside to play pool with strangers had completely broken Gold’s spirit. This wasn’t who she was. Not even close. After a while Gold sighed deeply. 

Their history was complicated, largely in part to him. Navigating two different timelines and lives with Belle both in Storybrooke and back in past realms was tricky at the best of times, let alone when one person’s memory was completely erased and replaced with a false history concocted by Regina. It was bad enough that Regina kept Belle hidden from him in Storybrooke for 28 years, but to finally have her back and then lose her this way was a different kind of pain. She was there, and yet she wasn’t. 

Over the past few months Gold had been trying to get her to come back to him. Trying to make her fall in love with him again by showing her he was a completely different person to who he had been when they first met – All without magic. At first, Belle had resisted and avoided him. She had walked out on him on several occasions and the few times he had gone to touch her, she had recoiled. Not in fear, but because he was still an enigma to her. The past few weeks though, Gold had kept to himself and poured his energy into the memory potion he was working on. Essentially, it was ready – All he had to do was give it to her out of an object that had some significance from her past life. But something was stopping him from giving it to her … 

He had always assumed Belle would find her way back to him. In every other timeline she had. But Gold began to wonder whether she would be safer and happier in this realm without him in her life. He had meant to meet with her tonight and slip her the elixir he had spent so many sleepless nights slaving over, but instead he found himself at the end of town, desperate to throw himself over the town line and blissfully forget everything just as Belle had. But it he was immune to the memory charm from crossing the border. And besides, pain was strength. And strength was power. 

Gold turned around and limped slowly back to his car; the rain falling more steadily as a sheet of lightening lit up the sky. Once inside his car, he flicked the headlights on and sat behind the wheel for a moment before reluctantly turning the car around and heading back towards his shop. As more lightening illuminated the sky and thunder rumbled outside, Gold’s mood only worsened. 28 years was too long to be in the middle of this curse with Regina undermining the timeline he had carefully created. 28 years was too long to be separated from the only other person he had allowed himself to love after losing his son. 

Once Gold pulled into a vacant car space out the front of his shop, he turned the engine off. He stayed behind the wheel, staring off into the darkness, before a sudden wave of anger and frustration rushed over him. He smashed his fists repeatedly against the steering wheel while cursing Regina loudly. Pain may have been strength, but at moment, the pain was unbearable. He should have been sitting opposite Belle, sharing a drink and a smile, not out in the darkness plotting revenge on Regina. The fact that Regina had even managed to occupy space within his mind only angered him further. It was exactly what she would have wanted. After a moment, he composed himself, exited the car and limped towards the shop. 

Once inside, he flicked the lights on and poured himself a small glass of whiskey. Gold picked up the crystal glass and swirled the amber liquid around for a moment before taking a long sip. Pulling a book from the shelf behind him, he opened at random page of poetry. 

_**"I carry your heart with me”**_ It read   
**_“(I carry it in my heart)  
I am never without it" _**

Gold felt his chest constrict with indescribable sadness. After 28 years, he still carried Belle around with him in his heart – A weakness, yes. But one he would gladly suffer for. After contemplating the poem for a moment, Gold scowled, and threw the book of poetry across the room before pulling a spell book from the shelf instead. Poetry tore him apart. But magic? That always helped. 

His thoughts went back to Belle, and how he was meant to either resurrect her memories of him, or simply accept that Regina had finally won one battle against him and was forcing him to move on. He thought of the repercussions for Belle if he gave her the elixir. Usually, Gold would have done whatever the cost to obtain what he wanted – demonstrating his selfish nature. But with Belle, it was different. He cared about her and couldn’t bear the thought of her being dragged down with him. She seemed happier as Lacey … Happier without him. Like most other people he had cared for. 

As if on cue, the bell above his shop door rattled and Belle entered. She brushed the rain drops off her shoulders and pushed the hood of her jacket back, before walking slowly towards him with a small smile on her face. It wasn't the same smile she used to have for him, though Gold’s heart still skipped a beat. 

“Lacey,” he said by way of a greeting. The name still didn’t sound right rolling off his tongue. 

“I thought I’d find you here,” she responded. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he enquired while taking another long sip of his whiskey. 

Belle walked over to the counter he was behind and gestured to the whiskey bottle in front of her. 

“May I?” 

She didn’t wait for an answer before she grabbed a glass and poured herself a drink. Holding the glass into air, she tipped it towards him slightly as if to say _cheers_ before sipping it. 

“You forgot” she stated after a while. 

“I forget nothing, dearie.” Gold responded, raising an eyebrow slightly. 

“Then why didn’t you come to The Rabbit Hole tonight? I was waiting for you, you know.” 

Gold looked up from his whiskey glass and met her gaze. Her pale blue eyes didn’t falter under his stare. It never had – Which was part of the reason he had fallen in love with her. Her dark brown hair fell in soft curls around her face and she twisted a small section around her finger as she waited for him to reply. 

“I’m afraid I was otherwise engaged.” 

“I see,” she said, smiling. He knew she didn’t buy his explanation for a second. 

Truthfully, Gold had avoided meeting her on purpose. Since crossing the town line, she had lost all elements of herself that had drawn him to her like a magnet. Belle had always had a pure soul – She believed there was good inside of everyone, to the point where he almost believed that about himself. Every time he had thrown walls up in front of her to protect himself, she had broken them down easily. She was persistent and she challenged him in every way. 

The moment they had met had turned out to be the happiest accident and he’d grown extremely fond of her over the years. But she stood here before him now, slightly shivering from the cold and the rain. Physically so close to him, and yet the farthest away from him she’d ever been. What he wouldn’t give to embrace her one more time, without having her push him away. His thoughts drifted back to the elixir and he wrestled with what little conscience he had. How would she react if she suddenly remembered everything about him? The good, and of course, the bad ...

Belle took another sip of her whiskey and then pulled the book Gold was reading towards her. She studied the ancient runes drawn inside carefully before frowning slightly. 

“So, this is magic?” she asked him. 

Gold nodded, pulling the book back towards him and closing it quickly. 

“What are you looking for?” 

“Inspiration,” Gold responded cryptically, draining his whiskey glass. 

Belle didn’t miss a beat – She poured more of the amber liquid into his glass and smiled at him again. Lighting flashed around the inside of the shop and the rain beat harder against the windowpanes. Gold lit a couple of pillar candles in case the lights went out. Somehow, he didn’t think conjuring fire in front of Lacey would end well, especially after he had healed her gunshot wound after crossing the town line with magic. His stomach churned as he recollected the weeks Belle spent heavily sedated in hospital after she had questioned what she saw. 

“You’re full of secrets, aren’t you Mr. Gold? Luckily for you, I don’t mind. I can see you for who you really are.” 

“And why would you do that?” He asked. “You know of my reputation around town. I’d suggest you listen to what people say and keep your distance.” 

“Perhaps,” Belle responded. “But I can’t explain it. I know that I don’t know you, but for some reason I feel like maybe I do, and I know that you’d never hurt me. That’s why I’m beginning to trust you. That’s why I’m not afraid of you.” 

“Believe it or not, dearie, you do know me, and you know all my secrets. Even the dark ones. You should be afraid of me.” 

“You keep saying that. I think I’d remember you and your secrets.” 

“We have a rather long and …. complicated history,” Gold said, with a small, rueful smile on his face. “Maybe it’s best you don’t remember.” 

Belle looked at Gold in confusion. His dark brown eyes met her gaze intently as she studied his face under the dim lights of the shop. Gold went to turn away, but Belle grabbed his arm lightly. 

“Ok. Tell me, how do I know you?” She whispered after a moment. "Tell me the truth."

Gold gently put his hand on top and hers for a moment before pulling away. His eyes flickered to the elixir sitting behind him that would restore her memory. Could he be this selfish again? Could he restore her memory and essentially make her a target for anyone trying to get to him? He longed to be with her again – To embrace her and kiss her and feel human again. But on the other hand, her life as Lacey was free of complications and the knowledge of what he did to bring them together in the first place. He wasn’t lying when he said she had a complicated history with him. 

After a while, Gold cleared his throat and looked deeply into her eyes. 

“What if I told you I could help you remember the truth?” he asked, with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. 

“Like, with magic?” Belle enquired. 

“Yes, with magic.” 

Belle bit her lip slightly as she weighed up Gold’s offer. 

“Wait a second - every time someone makes a deal with you, there’s always a price. What do you want?” 

“They’re right,” Gold replied quickly. “All magic comes with a price. But this time is different. I don’t want anything from you.” 

Belle looked at him suspiciously and pulled her jacket tighter around her body. 

“Ok,” she said finally “Let’s do this.” 

Gold hesitated for a second, before nodding in agreement. 

“So, do you just cast a spell on me or what? Is that what your cane is for?” Belle asked uncertainly. “Does it hurt?” 

Gold chuckled and an amused smile crept onto his face.

“You know what? Why don’t we have another drink first and I’ll explain it to you. Maybe something a bit stronger than whiskey.” 

Gold turned to the cabinet behind him and pulled out a bottle with a light blue liquid in it. He had been keeping the elixir safe and as discreet as possible amongst the other liqueurs and spirits in his shop. It had been hidden in plain sight for weeks and despite Regina coming into his shop often, she’d never paid any attention to it. From the shelf below the cabinet, Gold pulled out a blue and white fine china teacup that was chipped on one edge. 

“This bloody teacup,” Belle laughed “I remember it from the hospital. You either really like it or it means something to you.” 

“Both,” Gold replied, smiling softly whilst pouring half of the elixir into the teacup and the other half into his empty whiskey glass. Belle took the teacup and surveyed the liquid quizzically. 

“What is this? I’ve never seen alcohol of this colour before.” 

“Something I’ve made myself.” Gold responded smoothly. 

Belle looked at him with a hint of suspicion on her face. Her blue eyes were almost the same colour as the elixir – a decision made on purpose by Gold when he created it. 

“Well then,” Belle said, “Cheers.” 

They gently touched their glasses to one another, and Gold put the glass to his mouth but did not sip. He watched carefully as Belle took a long sip from the teacup. Unknowingly, Gold held his breath. He’d never made this type of potion before, and he had no idea if it would work. Uncertainty crossed his mind for a split second and he kept his focus on Belle's face.

Suddenly, Belle gasped and took a slight step back. She put the teacup down on the counter slowly and waited a moment before she looked up and met Gold’s eyes. He stared into them deeply for a moment before Belle started smiling. 

Gold would recognise that smile from anywhere. It wasn’t Lacey’s smile – It was Belle’s, and it came straight from her heart. It was the same smile she’d given to him the day he made the library for her. It was the same smile she gave him after he had caught her when she had fallen off the ladder. It was her smile … for him. 

“Rumple!” She exclaimed before launching herself across the space in between them and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Oh my God, it’s you. You’re ok!” 

“Belle,” Gold responded, burying his face in her neck. “You came back, sweetheart.” 

She pulled back from their embrace and ran her hands gently through his hair before gently cupping his face, and gently wiping away the tears that had formed in Gold’s eyes from happiness 

“We always find our way back to each other. I always promised you that.” She whispered. 

Gold took her hands in his and held them against his chest. 

“I know. I missed you, Belle. I missed you every single day.” 

He leaned in and kissed her passionately. Belle was standing on the tips of her toes with her arms wrapped around his neck again. The scent of her perfume filled the air, and her skin was soft and warm against his. She tasted faintly of whiskey, but Gold was intoxicated from their kiss instead. Belle completed him. She was not only his conscious, but she was the missing piece in his puzzle; the final piece that held him together. When he was being irrational, Belle was always his voice of reason. When he lost his way, he could always count on Belle to bring him back from the brink of darkness. No one had ever loved him and understood him as much as Belle did. 

"I'm sorry I left it so long to give you the elixir," Gold said softly. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to remember me."

"Of course, Rumple. For better or for worse, I want all my memories of you. Of us. Of _this_."

She laced her fingers in between his and pulled his arms around her waist.

“I promise to you, I’ll never let you go again,” Gold said softly. “I will give my life to protect you.” 

Belle smiled back at him, her blue eyes shimmering in delight. 

“And that it why I know you have a good heart.” 

Gold rested his forehead against Belle's and stood still, drinking in the moment. For better or for worse, Belle loved him. He hardly felt like he deserved love after everything he had done, but as long as her heart beat for him he would try and be a better person. He hoped Belle would always be there to guide him and keep the darkness at bay.

If there was one thing Gold had learned from a life of immortality, was that all he needed was patience, and hope. And in this moment, he knew he would always carry Belle's heart.


End file.
